shakespeare love me

My beard impressed myself and depressed strangers.

idiomatic 1st date

He shot his mouth off,
Sounding ridiculous.
He shot himself in the foot,
Only to put his foot in his mouth.

He would've turned a blind eye,
If the wool hadn't already been pulled over them.
He thought he had his eye on the prize,
Looking for his blessing in disguise.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop,
From the sublime to the ridiculous,
He found himself shaking in his boots,
Wanting only to fly to the south.

Spam, you must learn to love yourself,

and accept what you really are:

Conglomerate of mystery.

Fight no more to be something else

Or make sense of the mess inside.

Spam, you must learn to love yourself.

Comprised of disparate sources,

Byproducts compressed, side-by-side

Conglomerate of mystery.

It’s okay to not be the same,

Unity comes just after love.

Spam, you must learn to love yourself.

Sometimes it’s hard to feel at one

With the tin can filled to the brim,

Conglomerate of mystery.

The good, the bad, the beautiful,

Spam, you must learn to love yourself.

Conglomerate of mystery.

Hot Bod

My arms and my back are like jello

Cause I'm a fluffy and chubby lil fellow

So I went to the gym and broke every limb

And now I will head to my pillow

very few things rhyme with erika

There once was a girl named Erika,
She's fit to drive men hysterica,
With hair like a waterfall,
Dark eyes like emeralds,
The prettiest girl in all of America.

Young Johnny

Young Johnny came rolling from Krakin

A blade in his boot he was packin.

He squeezed out a deal when he cut Tony Friel

And cleaned up the mess with a napkin.

How do you do?

There was a rough rancher from Texas,

His herd was worth more than your Lexus

And he squeezed in his jeans till he busted the seams, 

The old rough rancher from Texas.